Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Meet the OCD monster fetus

I really want to have a blog! Why? Because I have a sub-clinical obsessive-compulsive need to let people know what I think (have I ever told you my thoughts on religion?) and to be funny (I know people think I'm funny; it's because it's true). So I'd like to write about whatever the hell I want and get constant feedback from hundreds of admirers. But it doesn't work like that. People have their own lives and don't necessarily want to read my nonsense. Or maybe they'll read it but won't feel like commenting. So then I face the menacing "what if"s. What if no one comments on my blog? Even worse, what if no one reads it? That would suck majorly. But why? Because people would be missing out on my genius, yes, but also because I would be getting no reassurance that I'm funny or have good ideas. Ah, so the underlying "what if" here is, what if I'm not funny and my ideas suck? I have reason to believe that that's probably not true, but it is possible. I will never know for sure. But I can live with that.

So, is this blog going to be about anything other than the fact that maybe no one will read it? Well, yeah, I'm not writing solely for the purpose of hearing myself type, though that is part of it. There's going to be content. I've alluded to it already. My inspiration came from a conference I attended this past weekend--the International OCD Foundation Annual Conference (many thanks to the friend who told me about it). It was awesome. I learned so much. The obsessive-compulsive spectrum is fascinating. I've found my calling, whatever that means. For one, it means that I've found something worth blogging about. But first I have to get these pesky med school apps done. So for now I'll leave you, dear possibly-existent readers, to ponder and anticipate. Comments are always welcome, but know that pure reassurance only feeds the OCD monster fetus.

P.S. Knowing me, I'll probably lose interest and never write a second post. Let's hope not! I'll take that as a challenge.